Did I tell Ya'll I just got a job teaching a holistic health class at a major University?
Yep, Imagine that.
Any hoo- I let them talk me into it at the last moment and classes started this week. I'm still trying to find my e-mail address and set up my program to communicate with students. Nothing is done on paper these days! I also have a smart room, which is really cool because you know I love that technological stuff.
Today I managed to get into the system with my new ID, got the room powered up and was all ready to show the class how to find Linus Pauling ( 2 time Nobel prize winning chemist who studied vitamin C and concluded it could kill cancer cells- ever hear of him? No, neither has anyone else... ) and the projector would not project! I changed settings and messed with buttons and finally picked up the Bat phone- Yes, IT has an emergency line much like Bat Man had. The bat phones are located in each smart room in case people like me can't get the projector to project.
I dialed the emergency extension which took me right to that super smart girl in IT. I explained that the projector would not project. She said "is the projector button on?"
Well of course, I'm not a total idiot I thought. "Yes".
"Is the source button turned to PC?" She asked "Yes " again.
"Is the cabinet open?"she asked.
"What cabinet?" I replied.
"The one the projector is in at the back of the room."
OK, maybe I am an idiot. Thank God I was early and the whole class did not see that.
Any-hoo, I have a few days off over this long weekend and plan to get something new posted here for you real soon!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Summer
Gulls swirl high then hang in the air,suspended for a moment on the air currents.
Wind streaming inland cools,
basking adventurers on beach towels and blankets,
becoming one with the sun and the sand.
Waves crashing at the rocks of a huge inland ocean
lull the lizard-like people out of their daily thoughts and into a rhythmic vacation trance state.
All is forgotten.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
That Stephen King Feeling
I've adopted bike riding as my sport for this summer. I found a nice old fashioned, nothing fancy bike with shiny chrome fenders and I started peddling. I think I might be naturally nosy, because I am enjoying riding around the town I live in, snooping into other peoples lives. I mean, driving in a car you really don't notice a lot of what is happening in your neighborhood, but on a bike, well that is a whole 'nother story.
I live in a town that has a lot of homes, in fact, most of them, built in the 1800's, including my own, built in 1895. All the main neighborhoods are that old, occasionally I go off into a side road neighborhood and they may be late blooming developments from the 40' and 50's, nothing more recent. Among the older homes are scattered homes from the 20's, a large sprinkling of craftsman style cottages and other past years infill building.
I frequently also ride through the main cemetery. Many of the headstones are worn smooth they are so old, and I have found birth dates back to the early 1700's. Anyway, I lose track of time and distance when I'm riding around engrossed in the neighborhoods.
Oh, number 26 has a big cat on the porch! That old junker in the backyard of 365 is gone..., I see "miss circa 1808" is getting a new coat of paint, I can't believe how much junk is in the back yard of that blue house. I wonder why it looks like no one lives in that place, and why hasn't the car at # 1902 moved in two weeks? I start to make up stories to go with the houses. Old Aunt Mildred lives here and does not want to open her curtains ever because she is afraid of the aliens living next door. Sometimes I just get a feeling from the house, I mean, you can kind of tell if a home is happy or not just by looking at it, right?
Example- Picture the home in Leave It To Beaver, or My Three Sons- got it? OK, now picture the home in Alfred Hitchcock's ground breaking classic movie Psycho. See what I mean? Ya kinda get a feel for what's going on inside. Any hoo, I don't have a run away imagination or anything like that, but I have to tell you, almost all the homes in my town look like the one in Psycho, only nicer. Some of them even have paint to rival San Francisco's famous painted ladies, but still, they are those kind of psycho style houses.
So maybe that explains what happened the other day, maybe at the heart of the matter is my life long fear of that movie Psycho, honestly, I still can't take a shower with out getting nervous.
But, as I was saying I was riding around town, being nosy and looking at all the houses and gardens and all and I had the feeling that something was watching me back. I was in the neighborhood with the three huge homes built by the first doctor who lived in town. He built a huge home on the top of the only hill in town, then, he built two homes for his two daughters, one on each side of his own. Guess he wanted them to settle nearby.
I got the feeling that those eyebrow trimmed windows were raised at me, and those houses were whispering back and forth about me. I wondered at the fact that most of the homes in this town are older than anyone who lives here. Really, it's their town. We humans are just passing through. We are temporary maintenance persons for the lumbering hulk of these Victorian and Gothic revival beauties; we are not that important except in our role to make sure they survive another generation. Then I got that creepy Stephen King kind of feeling. What if they were watching? What if they didn't like me snooping around all the time? What if...
I live in a town that has a lot of homes, in fact, most of them, built in the 1800's, including my own, built in 1895. All the main neighborhoods are that old, occasionally I go off into a side road neighborhood and they may be late blooming developments from the 40' and 50's, nothing more recent. Among the older homes are scattered homes from the 20's, a large sprinkling of craftsman style cottages and other past years infill building.
I frequently also ride through the main cemetery. Many of the headstones are worn smooth they are so old, and I have found birth dates back to the early 1700's. Anyway, I lose track of time and distance when I'm riding around engrossed in the neighborhoods.
Oh, number 26 has a big cat on the porch! That old junker in the backyard of 365 is gone..., I see "miss circa 1808" is getting a new coat of paint, I can't believe how much junk is in the back yard of that blue house. I wonder why it looks like no one lives in that place, and why hasn't the car at # 1902 moved in two weeks? I start to make up stories to go with the houses. Old Aunt Mildred lives here and does not want to open her curtains ever because she is afraid of the aliens living next door. Sometimes I just get a feeling from the house, I mean, you can kind of tell if a home is happy or not just by looking at it, right?
Example- Picture the home in Leave It To Beaver, or My Three Sons- got it? OK, now picture the home in Alfred Hitchcock's ground breaking classic movie Psycho. See what I mean? Ya kinda get a feel for what's going on inside. Any hoo, I don't have a run away imagination or anything like that, but I have to tell you, almost all the homes in my town look like the one in Psycho, only nicer. Some of them even have paint to rival San Francisco's famous painted ladies, but still, they are those kind of psycho style houses.
So maybe that explains what happened the other day, maybe at the heart of the matter is my life long fear of that movie Psycho, honestly, I still can't take a shower with out getting nervous.
But, as I was saying I was riding around town, being nosy and looking at all the houses and gardens and all and I had the feeling that something was watching me back. I was in the neighborhood with the three huge homes built by the first doctor who lived in town. He built a huge home on the top of the only hill in town, then, he built two homes for his two daughters, one on each side of his own. Guess he wanted them to settle nearby.
I got the feeling that those eyebrow trimmed windows were raised at me, and those houses were whispering back and forth about me. I wondered at the fact that most of the homes in this town are older than anyone who lives here. Really, it's their town. We humans are just passing through. We are temporary maintenance persons for the lumbering hulk of these Victorian and Gothic revival beauties; we are not that important except in our role to make sure they survive another generation. Then I got that creepy Stephen King kind of feeling. What if they were watching? What if they didn't like me snooping around all the time? What if...
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Adventures in Ghostwriting
Well, here I am again at the weekend and wondering where that whole week went. Actually, I'm wondering where that whole month of July went, last thing I remember I was laying in the sun and saying thanks for the long fourth of July weekend. Maybe it has something to do with my new job.
I'm a ghost writer now. It's kind of like being a ghost rider but instead of the cool bike I have a ergonomically correct desk chair. Still, I'm using my extraordinary talents to fight the menace of blank internet websites, and so far, I'm kicking butt with over 90% of my articles accepted for publishing.
Yes, it looks like I did not do a whole lotta writing in the past month, but the truth is I wrote one hundred and seven articles in the month of July. My one hundred and seven articles were posted on various web sites and under various names. Some of them were bought with a contract that said someone else was going to claim they wrote it and I could not ever tell anyone otherwise. Notice how, right now, I'm not naming any names? That's because I respect and honor my contracts.
Some of my articles were posted under nome de plumes. This is cool, because remember back in April? I wrote that whole article on getting a fine nome de plume? (April 16th, a Wednesday) Well, now I have a few of them. I'm Gretta Buttinski, Juan A. Bee, Leslie from Camden, and Drinkin A. Cuppajoe, among others. I've been so many different people in the last month I'm starting to feel like I have multiple personalities.
I've written dozens of 125 word blog posts, 250 word product reviews, 300 word articles, 400 word articles and the dreaded 700 word articles in which I must use the key word "guano" at least 3 times but not more than 5 times and the key phrase "guano maneuvers" at least 4 times and not more than 7 times and I must provide an attention grabbing headline of not more than 65 characters which uses the key term once and ends in the word "sparkling". I must have no more and no less than 6 paragraphs and each paragraph must have at least 40 words. Oh, and please be positive, no references to drugs or alcohol and for heavens sake, don't try to be funny, if we wanted humor we would ask for a funny 700 word article about guano maneuvers.
In the time it took to write the 700 word directions, they could have written the article themselves and saved a few bucks! But hey, then I wouldn't be working as a ghost writer.
I've written reviews on washers, dryers and lawnmowers. I've reviewed dance classes, moving companies, drum lessons, craft classes and emergency room visits. I've given advice to guys wanting to get their old girlfriends back, girls wanting to know how to deal with a cheating spouse, people wanting to get a cheap flight to South Africa, people wanting to know how to pick a hair style that fits their face, and parents wanting to know how to take a family of 6 to Six Flags with out breaking the bank.
I've given instructions for taming fly-away hair, making gift boxes, decorating the front stoop, giving a tea party and keeping the babysitter, once you find one that is really good. I have advised the love lorn and encouraged the backsliding bible thumper. One of my favorite how-to articles was about how to be safe on the open ocean in a 40 foot sailboat, and what to do if you get close to a storm you can't outrun. ( Secure everything, put on your pfd's -personal flotation devices, set off the homing beacon, close the hatches and call the Coast Guard, Dummies!).
So, as you can see, my many life experiences are coming in pretty handy now that I am a ghost writer.
Hey, and the pay isn't bad, considering I am working in my pj's only three feet from the coffee pot and three feet from the refrigerator and I don't have to listen to some idiot called a supervisor and I don't have to commute. I can work when I want and choose my jobs from a daily list of literally thousands of jobs. I can work for a couple hours, go for a bike ride, then work for another couple hours- no one cares! The only down side I can see is that my bloggers butt is sore and my mousers shoulder is acting up, otherwise it's not a bad gig. If my coffee pot and refrigerator were located on a beach in the south pacific, I would say it's perfect!
So, listen, I'm definitly thinking about you, my readers and I am working to submit at least two fresh posts to my blog each week, so check back later, I will have something new for you.
I'm a ghost writer now. It's kind of like being a ghost rider but instead of the cool bike I have a ergonomically correct desk chair. Still, I'm using my extraordinary talents to fight the menace of blank internet websites, and so far, I'm kicking butt with over 90% of my articles accepted for publishing.
Yes, it looks like I did not do a whole lotta writing in the past month, but the truth is I wrote one hundred and seven articles in the month of July. My one hundred and seven articles were posted on various web sites and under various names. Some of them were bought with a contract that said someone else was going to claim they wrote it and I could not ever tell anyone otherwise. Notice how, right now, I'm not naming any names? That's because I respect and honor my contracts.
Some of my articles were posted under nome de plumes. This is cool, because remember back in April? I wrote that whole article on getting a fine nome de plume? (April 16th, a Wednesday) Well, now I have a few of them. I'm Gretta Buttinski, Juan A. Bee, Leslie from Camden, and Drinkin A. Cuppajoe, among others. I've been so many different people in the last month I'm starting to feel like I have multiple personalities.
I've written dozens of 125 word blog posts, 250 word product reviews, 300 word articles, 400 word articles and the dreaded 700 word articles in which I must use the key word "guano" at least 3 times but not more than 5 times and the key phrase "guano maneuvers" at least 4 times and not more than 7 times and I must provide an attention grabbing headline of not more than 65 characters which uses the key term once and ends in the word "sparkling". I must have no more and no less than 6 paragraphs and each paragraph must have at least 40 words. Oh, and please be positive, no references to drugs or alcohol and for heavens sake, don't try to be funny, if we wanted humor we would ask for a funny 700 word article about guano maneuvers.
In the time it took to write the 700 word directions, they could have written the article themselves and saved a few bucks! But hey, then I wouldn't be working as a ghost writer.
I've written reviews on washers, dryers and lawnmowers. I've reviewed dance classes, moving companies, drum lessons, craft classes and emergency room visits. I've given advice to guys wanting to get their old girlfriends back, girls wanting to know how to deal with a cheating spouse, people wanting to get a cheap flight to South Africa, people wanting to know how to pick a hair style that fits their face, and parents wanting to know how to take a family of 6 to Six Flags with out breaking the bank.
I've given instructions for taming fly-away hair, making gift boxes, decorating the front stoop, giving a tea party and keeping the babysitter, once you find one that is really good. I have advised the love lorn and encouraged the backsliding bible thumper. One of my favorite how-to articles was about how to be safe on the open ocean in a 40 foot sailboat, and what to do if you get close to a storm you can't outrun. ( Secure everything, put on your pfd's -personal flotation devices, set off the homing beacon, close the hatches and call the Coast Guard, Dummies!).
So, as you can see, my many life experiences are coming in pretty handy now that I am a ghost writer.
Hey, and the pay isn't bad, considering I am working in my pj's only three feet from the coffee pot and three feet from the refrigerator and I don't have to listen to some idiot called a supervisor and I don't have to commute. I can work when I want and choose my jobs from a daily list of literally thousands of jobs. I can work for a couple hours, go for a bike ride, then work for another couple hours- no one cares! The only down side I can see is that my bloggers butt is sore and my mousers shoulder is acting up, otherwise it's not a bad gig. If my coffee pot and refrigerator were located on a beach in the south pacific, I would say it's perfect!
So, listen, I'm definitly thinking about you, my readers and I am working to submit at least two fresh posts to my blog each week, so check back later, I will have something new for you.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Happy Birthday To You!
Today is my sister Jane's birthday. I'm not going to embarrass her by posting some funny photo or telling you how old she is. That's my gift to her this year, nice aren't I?
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Jane, Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Jane, Happy Birthday to you!
Public Service Announcement
I heard about a program recently that helps reduce the cost of groceries. I actually read about this program in a major women's magazine, in an article about a family trying to get out of debt. I thought, hey, almost anyone would like to reduce their grocery bill, and especially now, with the economy so shaky.
So I looked up angel food ministries on line and found that it is much like the Share program that is run by Catholic charities, only angel food is Baptist sponsored. These programs are basically food buying co-ops. Anyone can join, regardless of income. In fact, they encourage people to join even if they are not having trouble making the grocery bill, because the more buyers they have, the more affordable it becomes for those who need it the most.
The program runs like this- you sign up for a package of food ahead of time, and pay ahead of time, once a month. When the pick up day arrives, you go to the central location with a few boxes or bags and get the food. You save a lot! There is a menu for the month that you can look at to decide if you want to purchase that month or not. The menu will have a variety of meat, vegetables and what ever else they have, this month "angel food" had dessert items and eggs as well as enough food to feed a family of four for at least half a month, all for 30.00
If you are a meat eater, this is such a good deal I don't see how you could not join in and shop through a co-op. I think it's a nice thing to do as well, because your buying power helps lower the cost for people who really can't afford groceries. It's a win/win! You get to help out the less fortunate and save some money yourself!
To find locations in your area search at
www.angelfoodministries.com
and
www.sharewi.org
which has a search other states function.
Please pass this information on to everyone you know, they might not need it, but I bet they know someone who does. You can pass it on easily by clicking on the envelope at the end of the post and entering an address.
Thanks, Meandering
PS I'm actually making money as a ghost writer now! Imagine that.
So I looked up angel food ministries on line and found that it is much like the Share program that is run by Catholic charities, only angel food is Baptist sponsored. These programs are basically food buying co-ops. Anyone can join, regardless of income. In fact, they encourage people to join even if they are not having trouble making the grocery bill, because the more buyers they have, the more affordable it becomes for those who need it the most.
The program runs like this- you sign up for a package of food ahead of time, and pay ahead of time, once a month. When the pick up day arrives, you go to the central location with a few boxes or bags and get the food. You save a lot! There is a menu for the month that you can look at to decide if you want to purchase that month or not. The menu will have a variety of meat, vegetables and what ever else they have, this month "angel food" had dessert items and eggs as well as enough food to feed a family of four for at least half a month, all for 30.00
If you are a meat eater, this is such a good deal I don't see how you could not join in and shop through a co-op. I think it's a nice thing to do as well, because your buying power helps lower the cost for people who really can't afford groceries. It's a win/win! You get to help out the less fortunate and save some money yourself!
To find locations in your area search at
www.angelfoodministries.com
and
www.sharewi.org
which has a search other states function.
Please pass this information on to everyone you know, they might not need it, but I bet they know someone who does. You can pass it on easily by clicking on the envelope at the end of the post and entering an address.
Thanks, Meandering
PS I'm actually making money as a ghost writer now! Imagine that.
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