So gather round kids and let me tell you a tale of a mind that went away.
Honestly, I have been making a real effort to do my mindless meditation on a regular basis. By mindless I don't mean out of your mind, or with out mindful-ness, or with out attention even, I mean to still your mind until it feels like a feather has captured your every thought and floated skyward with them, ascending to the stars and the silence of space. Then you seem mindless. For a minute. Or two.
I am still trying to get the hang of sitting still and quiet for 15 or 20 minutes. Ask my kindergarten teacher, she will tell you I just don't sit still very well. She used to tell me that It seemed that I "must have a horde of jumping beans in my pants".
I decided to help myself keep my mind still, and by association, my body, by using a cd of shamanic drumming as a prop for my meditation attempts. This cd is about 25 minutes long. Shamanic drumming is done in a tempo and frequency that assists your mind to enter the meditative state. Maybe that is cheating when it comes to meditation practice, but what can I say, I'm just trying to over come the jumping beans in my pants. Maybe some day I won't need a crutch.
The drumming varies a little through out the course of the 25 minutes I spent trying to keep my mind fully focused on the drums and only the drums. Every time a thought about life, work, the weather, home, food, grasshoppers, or anything else came into focus I said "Woa Nelly! Get your mind right back to the drumming!" There were actually long moments when I just stayed with the drums. I found the 25 minutes just breezing by like a Harley on a sunny spring morning.
And guess what folks- nobody noticed that I wasn't working for 25 minutes. No one called to find out why I was missing. No one sent a search and rescue party. The earth did not stand still because I carved 25 minutes out of my busy day to try find a little nothingness. I'm sure we all scurry around like ants from a anthill that has been breached because we think we must. If we don't we won't do enough, get enough, be enough, we just won't fit in and someone is going to notice and trouble will ensue and there will be hell to pay. Now I'm pretty sure that is not the case. We just mistakenly think it is.
So I carved out 25 minutes a few days in a row, and I sat and focused on the drumming. Each time I did, it seemed that the 25 minutes went by faster than it had the time before. I found myself better able to follow the drum beats, with out constantly reminding myself that that was what I was supposed to be doing. I was managing to keep my breathing long, deep, rhythmical and even. Oh, don't get me wrong, my mind was still flopping around like a fish on the end of a line, but it was flopping less each time.
Then miraculously, at the very end of one of these meditation/shamanic drumming breaks from the world, my mind stopped. I don't know how long it was like that, because I wasn't thinking about it. But I could feel the still. And then I saw myself sitting in the chair, and a crack started on the top of my head and ran down the middle of my body. A crack like you see on thin ice over a pond. The crack didn't make any noise, it just crept down the middle of my body, then the two halves of my dissected self fell away and beams of white and golden light came spilling out of my inside. Then I heard a horse neighing right next to my right ear.
Then I was back in the chair listening to the drums and wondering what the heck just happened, and of course you can't be mindless when you are trying to figure out how a horse got into your living room, so that was the end of my meditation for the day.
Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Like a Flea on a Coyote's Butt.
For the new year one of my goals is to meditate on a regular basis. I decided to do this because lord knows I could use a little relaxation in my life. I also recently read a few articles about the effect meditation has on your immune system and your health in general. Turns out meditation is really good for your physical, as well as your mental health. Increased immune activity is seen with as little as ten minutes of meditation a day! I'm also interested in trying this because of all the stuff you hear about how meditation expands your consciousness and "plugs you into the field". What field you ask? The morphic field, the zone, the string theory field, the web of universal energy, that from which all things come.
Sounds cool, doesn't it? To be one with the very particles (or waves, depending on who is watching) that make up all.
I'm told that to enter the field you must first enter the silence and still your mind. So that is the bottom line, stilling the mind and seeing what is on the other side of all this chatter. I'm thinking it's gonna look like an endless field of white sparkle, with flashes of color here and there.
So I've started meditating each day. I decided to start small because I sit still like a flea on a coyotes butt. But I figure if I can sit still for ten minutes, maybe eventually I can get my thoughts to sit still too. Then we would be in harmony, me and my sitting still body and no thoughts mind. We could just experience the sparkly field. Or nothingness. Or what ever- I don't really know because I've not been there yet.
I did some reading about different meditation techniques and decided to go the simple (kinda zen) way, to just sit and breathe. This is harder than it sounds. Most of us just sprint through life, never even realizing we are breathing. The body is so well designed, so automatic, you don't have to think to breathe, so why would you? Right? The idea is to slow your breath to about 6 breaths a minute. Apparently this is the optimal rate to cause your brain to switch gears and shift down to theta waves, which are like a minor ripple on the pond of your mind. Meanwhile you sit very still and don't think about anything. That is harder than it sounds too. I can fidget with the best of them, and I do.
The first time I tried meditating, my mind was like a kite flying on the beach. My thoughts would hold steady, steady on the breath, in-out, in-out, then suddenly my kite was diving and fluttering and threatening to break away. Past, present, future, all came at once. Thoughts of this that and the other, and of course all I was trying to think of was the now. Ever have that happen? You know, when you try not to think about something? It just keeps popping up, like those scary jack-in -the-boxes adults love to torment kids with.
As soon as I would feel the tug of the kite, which was not always immediately, I would reel the string back in until the kite was flying steady again, breathe one, two, three. Then I would start fidgeting, trying to get more comfortable in the chair. Or I would hear something and my attention would go there. Really, most of the session my mind was everywhere but on my breath and I think my body was trying to help my mind resist the halter because I became aware of every little bit of tension in my body. I would relax one part, so I didn't feel it any more and another would tighten up. Then I would start fidgeting again.
The good news is the ten minutes went by like two and I found the timer going off and my body so relaxed I could have slid right out of the seat. Guess that is why people typically meditate by sitting on the floor, that way, when they get all relaxed and noodle-e, they won't have to worry about falling out of a chair and hurting themselves.
Each time I've sat with my timer set for ten minutes, it's been the same story. I can see why people sign up to join group meditations. I think I would be embarrassed by all my fidgeting around while everyone else is sitting as still as the grave. I would have to, at least outwardly, settle down faster.
Today As I started my 15 minutes, (yes, the ten seems so short, no time at all really, so I have upped the ante, and challenged myself to sit for 15 minutes), it went something like this-
Breathe one, breathe two, breathe three,
My toe is scrunched. Ouch! My toe, I have to just wiggle it around a little...
oh, yeah
breathe four, breathe five, breathe six,
why is my shoulder so tight? I have to move my arm, relax, relax, darn it my elbow is tight too..
oh yeah
breathe seven, breathe eight, What was that noise? breathe nine, breathe ten, I think there is a draft aimed right at my butt, I need to scooch this chair around..
breathe eleven, breathe twelve, ouch! Very funny cat, that is my leg you are poking.
breathe thirteen, breathe fourteen, breathe fifteen, How am I going to write about meditating in my blog when I can hardly sit still for a moment?...Breathe sixteen, breathe seventeen,...watch the fire, that might help...breathe eighteen...
You get the idea, I was averaging about two uninterrupted breaths and then it was fidget, fidget and more fidgeting. Thoughts up, up, and away. I was trying not to think and I thought of everything from work to my third grade teacher Mrs. Gadhopper who wore a color coordinated silk flower pinned to her sweater everyday of class. I think I see a pattern here. The old internal struggle between the ego, who likes to be the boss and does not want to be bigger than the very body I inhabit, and the non-ego, whatever you choose to call it, the part that wants to meander through the endless field of light that is the source of all.
It went on like that for a while, but I'm no quitter, so I kept right on, noticing the thoughts and then getting back to the business at hand- breathing. Then, about breath 45 I noticed a shift. I was just breathing, and at the end of the out breath I felt a little nothing. It felt kind of big. It was just a moment really. Hardly there at all. But I noticed it and then I got all excited and blew it. What was that? Was that it? Did I just have a moment of nothing? Is that what all the fuss is about? What was that? How long was I out? By the time I got myself calmed down and back on track the timer was going off.
It only lasted a moment, but it felt like a really long moment, it felt expansive and bright. So I'm re-committing to sit, to see if I can find that nothing again, and maybe even find it on a regular basis. I want to meander in the field of light and see what it does for my overall health and well being. I will report back on this mission on a regular basis. Over and out, Meandering.
Sounds cool, doesn't it? To be one with the very particles (or waves, depending on who is watching) that make up all.
I'm told that to enter the field you must first enter the silence and still your mind. So that is the bottom line, stilling the mind and seeing what is on the other side of all this chatter. I'm thinking it's gonna look like an endless field of white sparkle, with flashes of color here and there.
So I've started meditating each day. I decided to start small because I sit still like a flea on a coyotes butt. But I figure if I can sit still for ten minutes, maybe eventually I can get my thoughts to sit still too. Then we would be in harmony, me and my sitting still body and no thoughts mind. We could just experience the sparkly field. Or nothingness. Or what ever- I don't really know because I've not been there yet.
I did some reading about different meditation techniques and decided to go the simple (kinda zen) way, to just sit and breathe. This is harder than it sounds. Most of us just sprint through life, never even realizing we are breathing. The body is so well designed, so automatic, you don't have to think to breathe, so why would you? Right? The idea is to slow your breath to about 6 breaths a minute. Apparently this is the optimal rate to cause your brain to switch gears and shift down to theta waves, which are like a minor ripple on the pond of your mind. Meanwhile you sit very still and don't think about anything. That is harder than it sounds too. I can fidget with the best of them, and I do.
The first time I tried meditating, my mind was like a kite flying on the beach. My thoughts would hold steady, steady on the breath, in-out, in-out, then suddenly my kite was diving and fluttering and threatening to break away. Past, present, future, all came at once. Thoughts of this that and the other, and of course all I was trying to think of was the now. Ever have that happen? You know, when you try not to think about something? It just keeps popping up, like those scary jack-in -the-boxes adults love to torment kids with.
As soon as I would feel the tug of the kite, which was not always immediately, I would reel the string back in until the kite was flying steady again, breathe one, two, three. Then I would start fidgeting, trying to get more comfortable in the chair. Or I would hear something and my attention would go there. Really, most of the session my mind was everywhere but on my breath and I think my body was trying to help my mind resist the halter because I became aware of every little bit of tension in my body. I would relax one part, so I didn't feel it any more and another would tighten up. Then I would start fidgeting again.
The good news is the ten minutes went by like two and I found the timer going off and my body so relaxed I could have slid right out of the seat. Guess that is why people typically meditate by sitting on the floor, that way, when they get all relaxed and noodle-e, they won't have to worry about falling out of a chair and hurting themselves.
Each time I've sat with my timer set for ten minutes, it's been the same story. I can see why people sign up to join group meditations. I think I would be embarrassed by all my fidgeting around while everyone else is sitting as still as the grave. I would have to, at least outwardly, settle down faster.
Today As I started my 15 minutes, (yes, the ten seems so short, no time at all really, so I have upped the ante, and challenged myself to sit for 15 minutes), it went something like this-
Breathe one, breathe two, breathe three,
My toe is scrunched. Ouch! My toe, I have to just wiggle it around a little...
oh, yeah
breathe four, breathe five, breathe six,
why is my shoulder so tight? I have to move my arm, relax, relax, darn it my elbow is tight too..
oh yeah
breathe seven, breathe eight, What was that noise? breathe nine, breathe ten, I think there is a draft aimed right at my butt, I need to scooch this chair around..
breathe eleven, breathe twelve, ouch! Very funny cat, that is my leg you are poking.
breathe thirteen, breathe fourteen, breathe fifteen, How am I going to write about meditating in my blog when I can hardly sit still for a moment?...Breathe sixteen, breathe seventeen,...watch the fire, that might help...breathe eighteen...
You get the idea, I was averaging about two uninterrupted breaths and then it was fidget, fidget and more fidgeting. Thoughts up, up, and away. I was trying not to think and I thought of everything from work to my third grade teacher Mrs. Gadhopper who wore a color coordinated silk flower pinned to her sweater everyday of class. I think I see a pattern here. The old internal struggle between the ego, who likes to be the boss and does not want to be bigger than the very body I inhabit, and the non-ego, whatever you choose to call it, the part that wants to meander through the endless field of light that is the source of all.
It went on like that for a while, but I'm no quitter, so I kept right on, noticing the thoughts and then getting back to the business at hand- breathing. Then, about breath 45 I noticed a shift. I was just breathing, and at the end of the out breath I felt a little nothing. It felt kind of big. It was just a moment really. Hardly there at all. But I noticed it and then I got all excited and blew it. What was that? Was that it? Did I just have a moment of nothing? Is that what all the fuss is about? What was that? How long was I out? By the time I got myself calmed down and back on track the timer was going off.
It only lasted a moment, but it felt like a really long moment, it felt expansive and bright. So I'm re-committing to sit, to see if I can find that nothing again, and maybe even find it on a regular basis. I want to meander in the field of light and see what it does for my overall health and well being. I will report back on this mission on a regular basis. Over and out, Meandering.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Train Your Mind Change Your Brain
Here is the link to the Mind and Life Institute. The institute sponsors meetings each year with The Dalai Lama and the worlds top scientists. In the following post, I mention the book that was written about the 2004 meeting, Train Your Mind Change Your Brain.
http://www.mindandlife.org/
Your Brain in a Nutshell
On Tuesday November 18th I was musing on the idea of being able to catch non-productive or unhealthy thoughts as they arise and realize them for what they are and let them go. How do we do this is the question I posed. Well, I’ve been doing a little research on that very topic so I can enlighten you while you waste your boss’s time reading blogs and having that extra cup of coffee before you really get to work.
I picked up this fascinating book called “Train Your Mind Change Your Brain” by Sharon Begley (with a foreword by His Holiness The Dalai Lama). This book is touted as a “groundbreaking collaboration between neuroscience and Buddhism”. Before I go any further I should warn you that I think physics textbooks are entertaining. I also think scientific experiments are engaging. I love to learn how people learn about all kinds of interesting things.
I’m about half way through the book now, and it’s all about the ways that the brain can grow and change, even after your body is fully grown. It’s called brain plasticity, and it’s all the rage among neuroscientists, even though just a few years ago the concept of brain plasticity was laughed right out of all the best scientific journals. This is a good example of how narrow minded science can be, the people who are supposed to be discovering new things often don’t even want to talk about new things!
Previously it was thought that you are born with a bunch of brain cells, you grow a bunch more when you are a baby learning all kinds of new things, you start to loose brain cells when you become an adolescent (maybe they are transformed into excess hormones), and this loss continues through young adulthood (accelerated greatly by your choice of recreational chemicals), and speeds up as you age until you eventually die with a shriveled up brain the size of a walnut.
Now however, it has been proven that this is not true! No, science has traveled into the unknown to prove that you only loose all those brain cells if you don’t take care of them, nourish them and invite them to grow.
Now I’m not going to tell you the whole story, read the book if you want that, but I will tell you there are dozens of experiments detailed so the reader sees the progression of one theory to the next and the amazing discoveries that first led researchers to imagine the brain was actually adjusting its cells, functions and usage, based on the persons activities.
I will throw this little bit of information out at you: voluntary exercise on a regular basis makes your brain grow. Bad news for couch potatoes I know. And I say voluntary because the experiment looked at brains of mice who exercised for fun (turns out mice love to run on those little wheels you see in gerbil cages), and brains of mice who were forced to exercise ( picture a white coated lab tech holding a mouse at gun point and forcing it to lift weights) actually, that is not how they did it, I won’t go into the details, but bottom line, the voluntary mice grew to be much smarter.
Now skip ahead to the part on applications for humans and we find that people with obsessive compulsive disorders can be trained to watch their thoughts as the compulsions come and rationalize what these thoughts mean, and how they arise from a chemical imbalance rather than being an intrinsic part of the person and sure enough, after they practice for a while, the obsessive behavior patterns lessen and disappear.
So dear readers, this takes us right back where we started. When you are in a situation that causes thoughts of anger or anxiety to arise, if you try to look at the thoughts and analyze them before you react, your brain will actually learn from what you just did, add more brain function resources to repeating this task in the future, and make it easier for you to do this again.
See? You are not alone! Your brain is helping you! You can learn to think before you react. You can become the type of person who is able to react with compassion rather than anger. You can learn to put that wave of anxiety to bed and think calm healing thoughts even when the going is rough.
Now, I’m sure as I get further into that book I will learn lots of tid-bits about how the process is actually done, but for now, I will just share how I think it might be done.
Next time someone you know acts like an ass and you start to get mad- catch the mad feeling. Stop for a moment and ask yourself what am I feeling? Acknowledge your feelings, then ask yourself if you can imagine any reason that person might be acting like such an ass.
Maybe they had a worse day then the one you are having. Maybe someone they know died, or left them, or is in the hospital, or is missing. Maybe they got fired, divorced or a speeding ticket on the way to work. Maybe they are hungry, hung over or really mentally unstable. Maybe they are all kinds of bad things you can imagine.
Now, this does not excuse them, but it does give you an opportunity to say to yourself- I’m glad I’m not like that. I’m glad I don’t have any of those horrible imagined problems they have. I’m gonna shine that on. I’m not taking the bait. I feel sorry for that ass. They must be having way bigger problems than I have. (if nothing else they have a big problem because they are such an ass no one likes them), Than you can ignore their assy-ness, or ask them if they are OK, or maybe even ask if here is some way you can help them because they are obviously having a bad day.
The same steps can be used for anxiety. When you feel it coming on – Like the Obsessive Compulsion disorder patients,( which, by the way, OCD is an anxiety problem,) you can say to your self- I’m feeling anxiety. This situation is a real ass, but it won’t help for me to be an ass back. Let me just calm down. This situation will soon change. (here’s where that Buddhist concept of impermanence comes in real handy), If I just remain calm and take steps to peacefully resolve this situation things are going to change. My anxiety does not change any thing, things just change.
Now, according to this research I’ve reviewed, if you just keep practicing this over and over it will become easier. From the looks of the news headlines, you may be getting a lot of practice, and this skill is going to become very valuable in the coming months.
I picked up this fascinating book called “Train Your Mind Change Your Brain” by Sharon Begley (with a foreword by His Holiness The Dalai Lama). This book is touted as a “groundbreaking collaboration between neuroscience and Buddhism”. Before I go any further I should warn you that I think physics textbooks are entertaining. I also think scientific experiments are engaging. I love to learn how people learn about all kinds of interesting things.
I’m about half way through the book now, and it’s all about the ways that the brain can grow and change, even after your body is fully grown. It’s called brain plasticity, and it’s all the rage among neuroscientists, even though just a few years ago the concept of brain plasticity was laughed right out of all the best scientific journals. This is a good example of how narrow minded science can be, the people who are supposed to be discovering new things often don’t even want to talk about new things!
Previously it was thought that you are born with a bunch of brain cells, you grow a bunch more when you are a baby learning all kinds of new things, you start to loose brain cells when you become an adolescent (maybe they are transformed into excess hormones), and this loss continues through young adulthood (accelerated greatly by your choice of recreational chemicals), and speeds up as you age until you eventually die with a shriveled up brain the size of a walnut.
Now however, it has been proven that this is not true! No, science has traveled into the unknown to prove that you only loose all those brain cells if you don’t take care of them, nourish them and invite them to grow.
Now I’m not going to tell you the whole story, read the book if you want that, but I will tell you there are dozens of experiments detailed so the reader sees the progression of one theory to the next and the amazing discoveries that first led researchers to imagine the brain was actually adjusting its cells, functions and usage, based on the persons activities.
I will throw this little bit of information out at you: voluntary exercise on a regular basis makes your brain grow. Bad news for couch potatoes I know. And I say voluntary because the experiment looked at brains of mice who exercised for fun (turns out mice love to run on those little wheels you see in gerbil cages), and brains of mice who were forced to exercise ( picture a white coated lab tech holding a mouse at gun point and forcing it to lift weights) actually, that is not how they did it, I won’t go into the details, but bottom line, the voluntary mice grew to be much smarter.
Now skip ahead to the part on applications for humans and we find that people with obsessive compulsive disorders can be trained to watch their thoughts as the compulsions come and rationalize what these thoughts mean, and how they arise from a chemical imbalance rather than being an intrinsic part of the person and sure enough, after they practice for a while, the obsessive behavior patterns lessen and disappear.
So dear readers, this takes us right back where we started. When you are in a situation that causes thoughts of anger or anxiety to arise, if you try to look at the thoughts and analyze them before you react, your brain will actually learn from what you just did, add more brain function resources to repeating this task in the future, and make it easier for you to do this again.
See? You are not alone! Your brain is helping you! You can learn to think before you react. You can become the type of person who is able to react with compassion rather than anger. You can learn to put that wave of anxiety to bed and think calm healing thoughts even when the going is rough.
Now, I’m sure as I get further into that book I will learn lots of tid-bits about how the process is actually done, but for now, I will just share how I think it might be done.
Next time someone you know acts like an ass and you start to get mad- catch the mad feeling. Stop for a moment and ask yourself what am I feeling? Acknowledge your feelings, then ask yourself if you can imagine any reason that person might be acting like such an ass.
Maybe they had a worse day then the one you are having. Maybe someone they know died, or left them, or is in the hospital, or is missing. Maybe they got fired, divorced or a speeding ticket on the way to work. Maybe they are hungry, hung over or really mentally unstable. Maybe they are all kinds of bad things you can imagine.
Now, this does not excuse them, but it does give you an opportunity to say to yourself- I’m glad I’m not like that. I’m glad I don’t have any of those horrible imagined problems they have. I’m gonna shine that on. I’m not taking the bait. I feel sorry for that ass. They must be having way bigger problems than I have. (if nothing else they have a big problem because they are such an ass no one likes them), Than you can ignore their assy-ness, or ask them if they are OK, or maybe even ask if here is some way you can help them because they are obviously having a bad day.
The same steps can be used for anxiety. When you feel it coming on – Like the Obsessive Compulsion disorder patients,( which, by the way, OCD is an anxiety problem,) you can say to your self- I’m feeling anxiety. This situation is a real ass, but it won’t help for me to be an ass back. Let me just calm down. This situation will soon change. (here’s where that Buddhist concept of impermanence comes in real handy), If I just remain calm and take steps to peacefully resolve this situation things are going to change. My anxiety does not change any thing, things just change.
Now, according to this research I’ve reviewed, if you just keep practicing this over and over it will become easier. From the looks of the news headlines, you may be getting a lot of practice, and this skill is going to become very valuable in the coming months.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Challenged to Do Nothing
Ok, it's the end of the weekend and I have to share with you what I spent the weekend doing. Nothing. Well, not exactly nothing, but no work. Now, If you have been reading like a regular you know I spent July 4th weekend sitting and trying to reclaiming my own rhythm. This weekend I tried another experiment. What if I did just nothing all weekend? How would it feel? Could I do it? Would the world end if I didn't get anything done? Would my job suffer if I didn't do any work?
This experiment turned out to be much more difficult than I thought it would be. For those of you who know me, you know I have been self employed for what, almost 20 years? Yes, just about that and during that time I have spent at least a few hours almost every weekend doing something work related. I know, it's really sick, but I'm just trying to get over this illness now. It's hard for me not to think about the files that should be notated, the deposits to make out, the advertising to renew, the up coming challenges of business in today's economy. It's difficult for me to set it all aside and just have a weekend. But hey, I'm determined and you know, when I get something in my head I'm going for it.
Any-hoo, I didn't do diddley squat this weekend. I "frittered" away my time, but I had to really concentrate to accomplish that. I had to be ever vigilant because my natural instinct is to do. I'm just learning to be.
I sat in the sun and listened to Eric Clapton, increasing my tan lines. I went to a classic boat show with a friend and her two adorable boys. I sat reading a novel. I played with the computer, searching things like crop circles and stone rings in Miami and ancient maps that show the new world, made before the new world was discovered. I got on youtube and watched Chris Griscom and Marianne Williamson.
I played with the cats. I experimented with some line drawings for a kids book I'm working on. I rode my bike, a new distance record for me, really it's not that far, just a few miles but farther than I had been riding! I polished my toe nails and went to margaritaville. I sat and watched the cats sleep. I sat and watched the clouds roll by. I sat and watched the breeze flutter the leaves of my grape vines. I sat.
I didn't do a darn thing that was work related all weekend. Hurray! I did it! It was a challenge, my mind kept going to what "needed to be done" and I kept saying "not right now, I'm doing nothing". I had to keep reminding myself that I was suppose to be a slacker all weekend. That it was OK to be lazy, after all, it was the weekend. In our culture, the weekend is time off, right?
I hope you had a weekend full of a whole lotta nothing. The world will not stop spinning if I take time to just relax and make some time for me. Thank Heavens! Same for you.
This experiment turned out to be much more difficult than I thought it would be. For those of you who know me, you know I have been self employed for what, almost 20 years? Yes, just about that and during that time I have spent at least a few hours almost every weekend doing something work related. I know, it's really sick, but I'm just trying to get over this illness now. It's hard for me not to think about the files that should be notated, the deposits to make out, the advertising to renew, the up coming challenges of business in today's economy. It's difficult for me to set it all aside and just have a weekend. But hey, I'm determined and you know, when I get something in my head I'm going for it.
Any-hoo, I didn't do diddley squat this weekend. I "frittered" away my time, but I had to really concentrate to accomplish that. I had to be ever vigilant because my natural instinct is to do. I'm just learning to be.
I sat in the sun and listened to Eric Clapton, increasing my tan lines. I went to a classic boat show with a friend and her two adorable boys. I sat reading a novel. I played with the computer, searching things like crop circles and stone rings in Miami and ancient maps that show the new world, made before the new world was discovered. I got on youtube and watched Chris Griscom and Marianne Williamson.
I played with the cats. I experimented with some line drawings for a kids book I'm working on. I rode my bike, a new distance record for me, really it's not that far, just a few miles but farther than I had been riding! I polished my toe nails and went to margaritaville. I sat and watched the cats sleep. I sat and watched the clouds roll by. I sat and watched the breeze flutter the leaves of my grape vines. I sat.
I didn't do a darn thing that was work related all weekend. Hurray! I did it! It was a challenge, my mind kept going to what "needed to be done" and I kept saying "not right now, I'm doing nothing". I had to keep reminding myself that I was suppose to be a slacker all weekend. That it was OK to be lazy, after all, it was the weekend. In our culture, the weekend is time off, right?
I hope you had a weekend full of a whole lotta nothing. The world will not stop spinning if I take time to just relax and make some time for me. Thank Heavens! Same for you.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Being vs. Doing
Hope ya'll had a nice long weekend, July 4th and all. Isn't it nice that we get a few of those long weekends during the year? I mean, nice of the government to give us an OK to take a day off, since we, as a country work longer hours and take less time of than almost any one else. Did you know that some countries actually require employers to give five weeks of vacation time a year? Makes the long weekend seem a little puny doesn't it? Then of course there is the thing about us being lucky to get a week or two off and the fact that many of us have jobs that do not provide any time off for vacations.
But hey, I was glad for a few days off, I've been way to rushed lately and I decided to slow things down a bit. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older, or if it's because we are quickly approaching 2012, the year the Mayan calendar says the big bang is going to happen again, and we will be right in the middle of it. They described a period of time leading up to 2012 as a time of great activity, a quickening of time. Hum, I do think quantum physics describes a phenomenon where time is indeed speeding up. What ever the cause, I just think I'm moving to fast. Trying to get to much done in too little time. So I took a breather.
For the entire weekend I held a moratorium on multi-tasking. I did just one thing at a time. That right there will slow you down. I did not write, work or watch Movies. I did read, but I had to, I'm addicted to books. I tried to focus on what I was doing, and just what I was doing, thinking of nothing else as I did some yard work and rode my bike. I was really getting mellow, that slow going one-thing-at-a-time pace. I took it a step farther and laid in the sun for a hour. Yes. Just laid there. I did not do anything but lay there listening to a CD. OK, I admit, I did roll over now and then and I did go get a glass of ice tea, but otherwise. Nada. Nothing.
I just wanted to spend some time being, rather than doing. I sat on the porch and watched the cats watch the birds. I made some meals and actually sat down to eat. I wandered up the river to the boat docks and watched the boats go by. I went to bed late and slept late. I was asking my self, if I lived by my own internal rhythm, what would it be?
We start off as babies, in that rhythm. Then someone decides we should be on a schedule and before you know it there is bottle time and nap time and we graduate to play date time and t-ball time and then it's time to get up and get on the bus for 13 years and don't forget time to do homework and time to go to ball practice and time for band. Then it's time to graduate and time to go to work and you are on your bosses time schedule for the next 30 years, or time to go to college for another 4,6 or 8 years of it's time to get up and go to class and time to take a test and time to study.
When the heck are we supposed to have time just to be us? When do we get to just be, rather than do, do, do? I think it's getting worse, because I talk with a lot of people in a lot of different jobs and life situations and none of them seem to have time to do anything. They are just to busy to squeeze in a sneeze. They are so busy rushing from one task to the next, they can't turn around. I have to ask myself, is some of this busy-ness manufactured just to keep them from slowing down enough to realize they never really get a vacation?
So I challenged myself to spend the long weekend being rather than doing. I just be-d.
I took my time and tried to be mindful of each thing that I did, paying attention to what I was (not what I was doing, but what I was) at that moment. I got relaxed. I slowed down. I saw the breeze rustling the tree leaves about and noticed the sunlight glinting off the rocks in the driveway. I watched the butterfly bouncing from flower to flower. I was finding my rhythm. My rhythm was a lot slower than the rate I normally travel. My rhythm is more like coconut fronds blowing in a slow south pacific breeze, more like the rate of erosion of the Grand Canyon. I really could be happy living life at a much slower pace. Maybe we all could.
I decided that I would benefit from a few changes in my busy life. I decided to continue with a partial moratorium on multi-tasking. I will only multi-task when it's necessary for work, rather than doing it all the time. I have the time to do most tasks individually, independently and with my full attention. I decided I will schedule some time each day just to sit for 30 minutes, being, not doing, because it really is OK to spend a few minutes a day just being. Just being and being aware that you are just being. I do have the time for this. I decided I will reserve my weekends as often as possible, just to be. I do not have to schedule things when I'm not involved with work tasks. I do not have to fill my free time with things to do. I can leave it empty and just see what my being becomes.
My challenge for you, if you wish to accept, is to spend just two days being and find your own rhythm. Just sit and watch your mind run in circles until it's exhausted and sits down. Sleep as long as you like and lay in bed stretching before you get up. Linger over your breakfast, with a nothing-to-do attitude. Just take your own sweet time about everything you do all weekend. Then ask yourself, what is my rhythm? What is my own time?
But hey, I was glad for a few days off, I've been way to rushed lately and I decided to slow things down a bit. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older, or if it's because we are quickly approaching 2012, the year the Mayan calendar says the big bang is going to happen again, and we will be right in the middle of it. They described a period of time leading up to 2012 as a time of great activity, a quickening of time. Hum, I do think quantum physics describes a phenomenon where time is indeed speeding up. What ever the cause, I just think I'm moving to fast. Trying to get to much done in too little time. So I took a breather.
For the entire weekend I held a moratorium on multi-tasking. I did just one thing at a time. That right there will slow you down. I did not write, work or watch Movies. I did read, but I had to, I'm addicted to books. I tried to focus on what I was doing, and just what I was doing, thinking of nothing else as I did some yard work and rode my bike. I was really getting mellow, that slow going one-thing-at-a-time pace. I took it a step farther and laid in the sun for a hour. Yes. Just laid there. I did not do anything but lay there listening to a CD. OK, I admit, I did roll over now and then and I did go get a glass of ice tea, but otherwise. Nada. Nothing.
I just wanted to spend some time being, rather than doing. I sat on the porch and watched the cats watch the birds. I made some meals and actually sat down to eat. I wandered up the river to the boat docks and watched the boats go by. I went to bed late and slept late. I was asking my self, if I lived by my own internal rhythm, what would it be?
We start off as babies, in that rhythm. Then someone decides we should be on a schedule and before you know it there is bottle time and nap time and we graduate to play date time and t-ball time and then it's time to get up and get on the bus for 13 years and don't forget time to do homework and time to go to ball practice and time for band. Then it's time to graduate and time to go to work and you are on your bosses time schedule for the next 30 years, or time to go to college for another 4,6 or 8 years of it's time to get up and go to class and time to take a test and time to study.
When the heck are we supposed to have time just to be us? When do we get to just be, rather than do, do, do? I think it's getting worse, because I talk with a lot of people in a lot of different jobs and life situations and none of them seem to have time to do anything. They are just to busy to squeeze in a sneeze. They are so busy rushing from one task to the next, they can't turn around. I have to ask myself, is some of this busy-ness manufactured just to keep them from slowing down enough to realize they never really get a vacation?
So I challenged myself to spend the long weekend being rather than doing. I just be-d.
I took my time and tried to be mindful of each thing that I did, paying attention to what I was (not what I was doing, but what I was) at that moment. I got relaxed. I slowed down. I saw the breeze rustling the tree leaves about and noticed the sunlight glinting off the rocks in the driveway. I watched the butterfly bouncing from flower to flower. I was finding my rhythm. My rhythm was a lot slower than the rate I normally travel. My rhythm is more like coconut fronds blowing in a slow south pacific breeze, more like the rate of erosion of the Grand Canyon. I really could be happy living life at a much slower pace. Maybe we all could.
I decided that I would benefit from a few changes in my busy life. I decided to continue with a partial moratorium on multi-tasking. I will only multi-task when it's necessary for work, rather than doing it all the time. I have the time to do most tasks individually, independently and with my full attention. I decided I will schedule some time each day just to sit for 30 minutes, being, not doing, because it really is OK to spend a few minutes a day just being. Just being and being aware that you are just being. I do have the time for this. I decided I will reserve my weekends as often as possible, just to be. I do not have to schedule things when I'm not involved with work tasks. I do not have to fill my free time with things to do. I can leave it empty and just see what my being becomes.
My challenge for you, if you wish to accept, is to spend just two days being and find your own rhythm. Just sit and watch your mind run in circles until it's exhausted and sits down. Sleep as long as you like and lay in bed stretching before you get up. Linger over your breakfast, with a nothing-to-do attitude. Just take your own sweet time about everything you do all weekend. Then ask yourself, what is my rhythm? What is my own time?
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
My Own Good Advice for Writers- Part 3
Turn off the TV and the DVD player.
Disconnect from the internet.
Silence the radio, the stereo, and the MP3.
Put down the book.
Avoid the magazine, ignore the mail.
Don’t answer the phone. Don’t dial the phone.
No IMing either.
Now, just sit a while, in the quiet. Don’t try to still the mind. This isn’t meditation. Encourage the mind to meander, floating like a patch of seaweed, torn free and traveling the oceans tides. Watch it and listen. Listen for the next thing that you are going to write about.
Your story may be something shifting slightly at the periphery of your mind, just waiting for stillness to accentuate its movement so it can be noticed. It’s that connection that you did not make at the time, when you were sensory drunk on the information smorgasbord we all indulge in every day. Now it comes to you, meandering, an idea with arms outstretched. An idea looking right at you, waiting for acknowledgement.
It might be something you saw on TV, or realized as you watched a DVD. Maybe it was in the lead characters journey or in the scenic background of the adventure, maybe it was the heart beat of the movie that sparked your story.
Possibly it was something you saw on the internet, or in an e-mail from a friend. Now it pushes through your mind and reaches up, growing a tall reedy stem and a couple of leaves, now forming a bud about to open.
Maybe you heard it on the wings of a song, a song that floats in your mind like a gull on an ocean side air current. High into blue sky, then dropping to touch the water and catch a memory worth recalling and sharing.
Could it be that it was hidden in your favorite author’s style, the rise and fall of literature in general, or between the pages of the novel you just finished?
Possibly your launch pad was a look at the current news or entertainment magazines full of flashy political photo op’s, lots of smiling celeb’s and plenty of spin. Maybe a semblance of truth is picking at the back of your mind waiting for expression.
There is always the possibility that your notion of a story came in the form of a letter from a friend, or a bit of junk mail asking for a donation. Yes, maybe in giving you do receive, maybe your donation and you expanding understanding and compassion are the story.
It could be your story was born in the last conversation you had with a good friend.
The ocean of information that we swim in every day threatens to drown us as it presents numerous opportunities in the same towering wave. Sit on the beach of disconnected silence. Watch your story float on the waves. When it gets so close you can see the whites of its eyes, throw it a life preserver, and pull it to shore.
Disconnect from the internet.
Silence the radio, the stereo, and the MP3.
Put down the book.
Avoid the magazine, ignore the mail.
Don’t answer the phone. Don’t dial the phone.
No IMing either.
Now, just sit a while, in the quiet. Don’t try to still the mind. This isn’t meditation. Encourage the mind to meander, floating like a patch of seaweed, torn free and traveling the oceans tides. Watch it and listen. Listen for the next thing that you are going to write about.
Your story may be something shifting slightly at the periphery of your mind, just waiting for stillness to accentuate its movement so it can be noticed. It’s that connection that you did not make at the time, when you were sensory drunk on the information smorgasbord we all indulge in every day. Now it comes to you, meandering, an idea with arms outstretched. An idea looking right at you, waiting for acknowledgement.
It might be something you saw on TV, or realized as you watched a DVD. Maybe it was in the lead characters journey or in the scenic background of the adventure, maybe it was the heart beat of the movie that sparked your story.
Possibly it was something you saw on the internet, or in an e-mail from a friend. Now it pushes through your mind and reaches up, growing a tall reedy stem and a couple of leaves, now forming a bud about to open.
Maybe you heard it on the wings of a song, a song that floats in your mind like a gull on an ocean side air current. High into blue sky, then dropping to touch the water and catch a memory worth recalling and sharing.
Could it be that it was hidden in your favorite author’s style, the rise and fall of literature in general, or between the pages of the novel you just finished?
Possibly your launch pad was a look at the current news or entertainment magazines full of flashy political photo op’s, lots of smiling celeb’s and plenty of spin. Maybe a semblance of truth is picking at the back of your mind waiting for expression.
There is always the possibility that your notion of a story came in the form of a letter from a friend, or a bit of junk mail asking for a donation. Yes, maybe in giving you do receive, maybe your donation and you expanding understanding and compassion are the story.
It could be your story was born in the last conversation you had with a good friend.
The ocean of information that we swim in every day threatens to drown us as it presents numerous opportunities in the same towering wave. Sit on the beach of disconnected silence. Watch your story float on the waves. When it gets so close you can see the whites of its eyes, throw it a life preserver, and pull it to shore.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Even One Verse
One night without distraction,
I dreamed a vivid dream;
I saw a large and beautiful drum
Filling the world with golden light
And glowing like the sun.
Beaming brightly to all places,
It was seen from ten directions.
Everywhere Buddhas were seated,
On thrones of precious Lapis.
At the foot of jeweled trees,
Facing assemblies of hundreds of thousands.
I saw a form like that of a Brahmin
Fiercely beat upon the drum;
When he struck it,
These verses issued forth:
By the sound of this majestic drum of golden light,
may the suffering of lower migration,
Yama and the poverty of the three realms
Of the triple thousand worlds cease to be.
By the sound of this majestic drum,
May the ignorance of the world be dispelled.
With fears quelled, just as vanquishing sages are unafraid,
May sentient beings become fearless and brave.
Just as the Omniscient Vanquishing Sage in the world
Is possessed of every excellence of aryas,
May countless beings too possess oceans of qualities,
Concentration and the wings of enlightenment.
No, I didn’t write that, it’s six verses of the Golden Light Sutra.
In the introduction it says that there are many benefits to reading the whole text. In the Tibetan Buddhist system (the Buddhist system I’m most familiar with), books have great power and during the reading of a text you can actually receive life changing energy from the written words. Being as I am a Reiki Master, I can understand how this could possibly be true.
The introduction also says that the deva Hamachiwa Pala told Buddha that she will protect those “who read and try to understand even one verse, and will fulfill their wishes”. Those sentient beings who hear only one verse will never go to the lower realms. The Buddha told the earth goddess that “even if a person hears only one verse, the will be born in the deva realm”. Further the Buddha told the earth goddess “the non- virtuous karma of the person who hears even one verse will be eliminated and they will achieve enlightenment”.
There is no mention of what reading just six verses will do for you, but it’s got to be better than reading just one verse, wouldn’t you think?
So, now ya got that going for you.
I dreamed a vivid dream;
I saw a large and beautiful drum
Filling the world with golden light
And glowing like the sun.
Beaming brightly to all places,
It was seen from ten directions.
Everywhere Buddhas were seated,
On thrones of precious Lapis.
At the foot of jeweled trees,
Facing assemblies of hundreds of thousands.
I saw a form like that of a Brahmin
Fiercely beat upon the drum;
When he struck it,
These verses issued forth:
By the sound of this majestic drum of golden light,
may the suffering of lower migration,
Yama and the poverty of the three realms
Of the triple thousand worlds cease to be.
By the sound of this majestic drum,
May the ignorance of the world be dispelled.
With fears quelled, just as vanquishing sages are unafraid,
May sentient beings become fearless and brave.
Just as the Omniscient Vanquishing Sage in the world
Is possessed of every excellence of aryas,
May countless beings too possess oceans of qualities,
Concentration and the wings of enlightenment.
No, I didn’t write that, it’s six verses of the Golden Light Sutra.
In the introduction it says that there are many benefits to reading the whole text. In the Tibetan Buddhist system (the Buddhist system I’m most familiar with), books have great power and during the reading of a text you can actually receive life changing energy from the written words. Being as I am a Reiki Master, I can understand how this could possibly be true.
The introduction also says that the deva Hamachiwa Pala told Buddha that she will protect those “who read and try to understand even one verse, and will fulfill their wishes”. Those sentient beings who hear only one verse will never go to the lower realms. The Buddha told the earth goddess that “even if a person hears only one verse, the will be born in the deva realm”. Further the Buddha told the earth goddess “the non- virtuous karma of the person who hears even one verse will be eliminated and they will achieve enlightenment”.
There is no mention of what reading just six verses will do for you, but it’s got to be better than reading just one verse, wouldn’t you think?
So, now ya got that going for you.
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