I Don't Have The Answer.

Did you ever feel like you were having trouble staying focused? I mean on life?

Being the highly educated type person that I am, I remember being at say, year six, of my continuing education process and walking into class asking where am I? What quarter is this and which class am I in now? What book am I supposed to be reading and when the heck is that lab midterm test?

What? It was yesterday morning? Yesterday? The day I skipped class to have breakfast with my friend Laura because it was her birthday and she had no one to go with because everyone else was in the lab class? Oh God! And I never did get along with the lab instructor, do you think if I cry and make up a story about "female problems" he will fall for it? (he did).

Did you ever feel that way about life? Sometimes I find myself just tooling along doing a comfortable cruising speed, thinking I'm seeing all the signs, following the mapped out route, taking the planned turns, not missing my exits and everything is kosher and wham! Out of no where a cruiser is on my tail with lights flashing. Maybe I wasn't focused enough.

How the heck are we supposed to navigate this life with so much going on? You almost have to ignore a large part of it just to tend to the basics - work, pay the bills, do laundry often enough to have a good supply of clean underwear and all that. Add a few moments of personal time here and there and you are about maxed out. How can we stay focused on the necessities and still have the attention to notice the flowers blooming, the beautiful sunset, the bird nesting in the tree right above our head?

I don't have the answer, it's just a question.

As a writer sometimes I must focus on the tools of my craft, get serious and edit. It's so much easier to let the words spill out than it is to clean up the overflow. Yesterday morning, however, I did just that. I got focused and looked at my last article with an editor's eye. I knew it could be better, flow smoother and sound more balanced. I chipped away a little here, added a little there. I tweaked a bit, exchanging one word for another. It's hardly noticeable when you re-read the finished product, but it does make a big difference.

Now if I could just edit my life, chip away a little of the "not so important" stuff to make room for a little of the "more important" stuff. If I could tweak it a bit, keeping the main structure and meaning, but leave it more balanced and flowing smoother. If I could just focus a little more on the underlying story, the main point, and shed some of the trappings that come from living in a world where we are so influenced by society that is constantly moving faster and wanting more, would I find a richer story of my life?

I don't have the answer, it's just a question.