Signs of Spring

I saw the first signs of spring yesterday. They were all over town, on every corner, signs that said yard sale and garage sale and estate sale. Signs that appeared to have grown and bloomed overnight in profusion. Big signs and little signs, hand made signs and store bought signs, in a rainbow of colors.

Yes, it’s definitely spring and time to shake out the closets and unclog the garage and rid your self of all that winter gain. I’m jumping on the bandwagon and planning my own yard sale.

I don’t know how all this stuff gets in my house, it seems to grow of its own accord and spread like some all climate ivy. One day my closets are empty and the next they are overgrown. When I moved into my 1900 square foot house it was so empty, with my 600 square foot apartment furnishings. Now it looks like I have lived here for 300 years and developed some obsessive packratting skills.

I’m going to start with the clothes closet. One of my friends said to me one time “ You have a lot of clothes, you know?” Really? I do? Doesn’t everyone use one entire spare bedroom for a closet? Doesn’t everyone have 3 dressers, 2 wardrobes, 5 closets (2 just for coats), dozens of shoe boxes and a shelf unit designed specifically for purses? Doesn’t everyone get calls from major motion picture studios asking to borrow when they are out fitting 3000 extras?

I’m determined to trim down, remove the excess and get all Zen with my wardrobe. I’m tossing anything that is not a perfect fit, does not wash easily, and isn’t museum quality vintage. I’m tossing all artificial fabrics and anything made in china, even if I did buy it secondhand. By the way, if you buy vintage or consignment, most of your choices have nothing to do with China.

When I’m done with the clothes closets I’m moving onto the Christmas decorations. I’m culling it to the ones that fit on the tree, and again, vintage. Last year I tried to save trees by buying vintage Christmas cards at an antique fair. Watch the envelope size if you try this, one style I bought was such a cute but odd size I had to put them in new envelopes to get them past the post office inspectors. I’m going to go natural with my holiday decorations from now on and stick to pine cones, pop corn strings, cranberries, greenery and hot house poinsettias. None of which will be sitting in my attic come July.

Then on to the book shelves, which, over the years and numerous moves are already less crowded then in my past. I still think I can do away with some of the books I’ve collected since my last move, like the one on making candles (to complicated, messy and time consuming) or the one on quilting (already used it once and remember how), or the pile of novels that I bought for next to nothing and already enjoyed ( I seldom read a novel twice). I have very few books that would be hard or impossible to find again if I really wanted to re-read them.

Next I will delve into the linen closet because I’ve finally come to understand the universal truth that the curtains from one home never fit the windows of the next home. Hopefully this realization is fully rooted and has grown to the point that when I move again I will be smart enough to leave the 3 tons of curtains from my current abode right where they belong- hanging in the windows. I’ve also come to realize that no matter how cold it is outside, nobody really needs 14 blankets, three sleeping bags and 2 comforters.

I think I’m gonna have the grand daddy of all yard sales!

Now I come to the perilous part of the unloading- the kitchen. I admit I’m an addict. I can’t pass a cute vintage dish or kitchen utensil with out cooing to it. My cupboards are so full they are pulling away from the walls. I have enough place settings to supply the Waldorf Astoria during wedding season. It’s funny really, because my table only seats 4. I have dishes from the 1800’s to the 1960’s. I have every color of the rainbow and some. I could open a vintage dish store to rival patterns.com. I have enough vintage covered casserole dishes to supply an Amish barn raising party. And I seldom cook. I have no defense, just a newly conceived offense- if it’s replaceable, get rid of it. I’m sure someone else would love to attend a potluck with one of those vintage casseroles, and I hope they stop to shop at my humongous yard sale.

After I recover from skinning my kitchen I’m heading with gusto onto the big ticket items. Every yard sale has to have big ticket items to attract a crowd. Last time I had a sale I dragged half my furniture out to the yard and put “sold” signs on every piece just to attract attention. This time, if I drag it out, it really is for sale. I’m thinking things like my bar stools, which have been floundering around since my last move because this house has no bar, and my telescope that has not left it’s box in a few years. I have more chairs than asses in my house so I think a few of those could go. Things like that, handy when you need them, but honestly, how often do you need them?

So, my battle plan is drawn, a date circled on the calendar and numerous prayers for good weather already offered. I hope this helps cure my compulsion to fill my space with stuff. After all, it’s a lot of work to carry all that stuff out to the yard, set up a nice looking sale and sit in a yard chair all day making small talk and change. In this area, yard sales start at the crack of dawn and traditionally last just one day- after all, Sunday is for church, not shopping. When the last sale is done, and the crowds have dispersed, I’m committed to loading every last item off the yard directly into the car for a short ride to the local thrift store. Then I’m gonna count the loot and breath in my new found wide open spaces.